last week on DRAMATIC EXIT …
In the sneak out we explored what to do when enough is enough and even a “goodbye” seems superfluous. In the scatter we covered how a public exit, executed with panache, can rattle up sad and sedentary members of society, and shine an interrogatory light on the more ridiculous of our social norms. Now, I round up this imperative series with the dramatic departure that inspired the triptych – a word that I can now spell correctly.
3. the full sweep
The sweep is an unplanned exit that takes maximum advantage of a unique set of circumstances; a long corridor with a gleaming floor, a set of double doors that opens outwards at the end of it, and the extraordinary happenstance that the culprit be standing directly by them, nibbling a polvorón.
The sweep requires a good stride from the outset with an increase in speed as one goes. A wafting of the hand back and forth, in pendulous momentum, adds sobriety to the gesture, while the head must remain persistently high, its features immobile, until the moment when one is about to burst through the doors when there should be an exaggerated rolling of the eyes. The thing about the sweep is that one must not be afraid to embrace its flamboyance, sudden coyness can deflate it at any time.
With all three exits, and with this one in particular, it is possible that you’ll have acted in a way that is significantly more infantile than the culprit. And yet, when ideal circumstances do occur, I do – if controversially – maintain that one must strive to raise the original crime to the heights of the dramatic opportunity to avenge it. After all, more preposterous things are done in banks.
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